(no subject)

[stbethadettes]

Blessings on this journey.

The nun's mouth contorts to reveal unnaturally pointed teeth, and blood wells in her glowing eyes and drips down her face as the edges of her habit start to burn.

She gets closer and closer, and within seconds there's nothing left of her but all that fire and the fierce glow of those eyes.

Beth wakes with a cry of panic, and for a minute, she's disoriented as hell and can only pick up on the fact that she's not in St. Bernadette's.

I'm back?

It's just this one tiny little hopeful flicker, but she knows she's not back at the bar the instant she looks around. She's on a wheeled bed and (Where are my goddamn clothes?) she's in some kind of flimsy gown but at least it doesn't fall open at the front or back.

And there's Hero, right next to her.

"Where..." It looks like they're in some kind of dungeon. "Where are we?"

Comments

[no-real-hero.livejournal.com]

Thank Christ Beth's awake. Not that she wanted to become a caretaker or anything, but this chick's got balls; she likes Beth. The room's empty except for the bed and a table and some... torches (fucking torches? what is this, the middle ages?) flickering on the wall. By the locked stone archway door, there's a bucket and pail. Someone going to clean up after the torture, maybe?

She's not sure.

"No clue. Some kinda castle from the looks of it." She pauses: the room is almost sterile; five years ago it would've given her the creeps but now it's just one more fucking situation to get out of. "Last thing I remember is those gay conquistadors knocking me out."

[stbethadettes]

Beth's eyes follow Hero's glance around the room, and she's right. It looks just like the dungeon of some castle, right down to the torches providing light, and none of it helps her figure out where the fuck this is.

"They're not conquistadors, they're Swiss Guard, private army of Vatican City," she explains, sitting up a little and moving a hand to her belly. "Used to be all guys, but they've obviously relaxed their admission standards since the plague."

She's gone to Catholic schools all her life, and no one could accuse her of not learning anything.

[no-real-hero.livejournal.com]

Hero just shakes her head; her jaw aches from where that bitch got her.

There really is no other way out of this place. Yorick's the escape artist, not her. Even if she did have anything to cough up and use to pick a lock with, these aren't standard key-and-lock doors. They'll have iron posts deep into the ground or something.

This has to be one of the most fucked-up situations she's ever found herself in, and over the past three and a half years or whatever, there sure have been a lot.

"Can't believe I got taken down by a girl with a stick."

[stbethadettes]

"It's called a halberd. Renaissance weapon." Beth shrugs slightly, shifting to try to sit up a little bit more. She thought she felt like a manatee before. That was nothing compared to how big she is now.

"And don't feel bad," she adds, glancing up at Hero again. "They held off the Nazis with those things back in '43."

They're more effective than they look.

[no-real-hero.livejournal.com]

Jesus, this woman knows a lot of shit.

And then it hits her and she almost smiles but given their circumstances, she can't. Not till they figure a way out of here.

Still, the thought lingers.

"Yeah, you're definitely the kind of girl my brother would bone."

Fucking dog.

If he wasn't the last man on the whole fucking planet, he never would have stood a chance with a girl like Beth. She's way too smart for him. But she sure can see the attraction for him. He can talk shit for hours, whether or not he even knows the subject.

That's one gift she definitely doesn't have. Her gift was always written words, not spoken ones.

[stbethadettes]

Beth could almost laugh at that point, partly from what Hero said and partly just from nervous energy, but the door opens before she has a chance.

"Step away from the santa madre, please." The nun comes in, leading the two Swiss Guard chicks and a woman rolling an ultrasound machine. "We have work to do."

Beth props herself up on one hand, the other still protectively on her belly, and sits up as much as she can now. She can't literally take all this lying down. "Who are you? What is this?"

This nun has a face that looks like it hasn't smiled in ages. "My name is Sister Lucia Ober. I'm the undersecretary of the Congregation for Societies of Apostolic Life. The highest-ranking woman in the Catholic Church."

[no-real-hero.livejournal.com]

Yeah, right. She can't help herself.

"Isn't that a little like being the leggiest guy in the Rockettes?"

So here's the deal: I have no fucking idea what work you have to do, but I'm that kid's aunt. Be fucking forewarned, nunface. Do NOT fuck with the Santa Madre, bitch, or you'll have me to answer to. Got it?

She doubts it. She doesn't even have her gun any more.

[stbethadettes]

Again, there's this split-second in which Beth could almost laugh, but a glance over at Hero, standing there with her arms crossed as the Swiss Guard block her from getting any closer, keeps her from doing it. So does noticing the woman with glasses setting up and plugging in the ultrasound machine beside Sister Ober.

"I realize this is difficult for non-believers to comprehend, but the faithful have sent us countless reports of possible virgin birth sightings across your country."

Beth can't help it. "Countless?"

She doesn't really go for this whole virgin birth thing, and for all she knows, Yorick's the only guy still alive.

Frankly, after all that guilt he had, she can't see him being the cause of all of these rumored sightings. And she's always thought there was no way he was that good an actor.

"And we intend to investigate them all, in accordance with the specific guidelines the Church left for us in the event of just such a catastrophe," Sister Ober goes on, a small bottle in her hands.

"Hold up," Beth butts in, disbelievingly, "You're saying men inside the Vatican predicted the plague?"

Sister Ober uncorks the bottle. "We'll have time to discuss the situation in more detail after the examination."

Beth's hand, finally leaving her middle, balls into a fist. "You hurt my baby, and I will rip your face off with my teeth."

It's holy water in the bottle, Beth realizes, and Sister Ober turns the bottle over to pour a little onto her hand. "If the fruit of your womb is what we suspect, we have all sworn to protect you both with our lives."

It's all purely fucking crazy to Beth. "I'm a washed-up Theology major. My kid is not the son of God." They're going to be disappointed, and they can't be allowed to find out about Yorick.

"No," the Sister agrees, flicking her fingers to sprinkle Beth with the holy water. "Christ is God's only Son. We have faith that your child is a male... a male sent to be the next Supreme Pontiff of the universal Church."

Beth just stares at her. "You want my boy to be the Pope?"

"What I want is irrelevant. We believe that God wants the Catholic Church to survive this ordeal by allowing women to be ordained as its leaders. But that belief cannot become doctrine until a new Pope communicates with the Lord and makes such a decree ex cathedra."

[no-real-hero.livejournal.com]

From behind the crossed halberds, she can't believe what she's hearing and she knew there was a good reason she's not the religious type: it's all a bunch of bullshit, a bunch of fucking fiction told by men to keep women subservient.

She practically spits at the Sister Ober chick. "So you need to find a male pope to talk to God... so God will tell him that popes don't have to be male any more?"

[You can still do it, Hero. You can grab one of those halberds and get rid of the boy baby, Santa Madre or not. All it would take would be one good whack to the stomach.]

Fuck YOU, Victoria. Shut up.

She doesn't have time to listen to the voices or to argue with herself now. "That's retarded."

[stbethadettes]

"The Church of Rome," Sister Ober half-turns from Beth to give Hero a stern look, "pulled this world out of the dark ages once, and it will do so again... but not until we've put our own house in order."

She turns back to Beth, and the woman with glasses, her hair pulled too-tightly up, puts on her gloves and takes a small bottle of her own out, and this one Beth recognizes immediately.

Lying back, she lets her gown be pushed up over her belly. A small amount of gel is squeezed out onto it, and she nearly flinches from how icy-cold it feels on her bare skin.

Sister Ober, possibly trying to be supportive, takes Beth's hand as the ultrasound technician starts doing her thing. "Tell me, when was your last ultrasound?"

"Um," she has to think about how long it would've been at this point, without counting the single trip with Spike to see Doc, but her eyes meet the Sister's directly, "about eight years ago, right before I had an abortion."

Those dark eyes close, and Sister Ober's mouth sets into a firm line. "I see."

But the halfhearted pleasure Beth gets at needling her with the truth is cut short by a gasp of Mein Gott, and she turns to see the shocked expression on the face of the woman giving her the ultrasound.

"Schwester Ober. Sehen sie nur!"

Beth's back leaves the bed, her wrist twisting to get her hand free of Sister Ober's, but the other woman's blocking her view of the screen. "What is it? What is she saying?"

"Es... es ist ein madchen."